


Heaven Help Us

by GrandestBlood



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 03:42:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14633361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrandestBlood/pseuds/GrandestBlood
Summary: In a world where the Winchesters do not exist, Castiel tries to save humanity from Michael. He takes Jimmy Novak's family to safety but the apocalypse comes and there is no safe place anymore. This is a story of how the alternate version of Castiel, the angel in love with humanity, reaches his breaking point. Based on the song by My Chemical Romance with the same title.





	Heaven Help Us

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate Universe Castiel was gone too soon, just like My Chemical Romance, so here's my take on how he came to be. Heaven Help Us suits Castiel in any universe. Cry with me please. Castiel needs a lot of hugs. I do not call him Cas in this story because I think it's Dean who started to call him that but he's not here so he's just Castiel from beginning to end.

When Castiel first gets the news of how Mchael does not intend to spare humanifty, he tries to think of a plan to save them. But he is just one angel and Michael commands heaven.

  
He's alone. Or so he thinks.

  
“Castiel,” Jimmy’s soul calls out to him. “I'm still here.”

  
“How are you conscious?” Castiel is surprised and in awe. It's rare for the vessel’s soul to be conscious while possessed by either angel or demon. They are usually forced to sleep under the influence.

  
“I don’t know.” Castiel feels Jimmy's doubts. Has he heard about Michael's plans? Is his vessel thinking of ejecting the angel possessing him? Is he thinking of fighting against heaven?

  
“Jimmy, this is going to sound insane,” Castiel starts but even before he finishes, he knows the answer. He just needs to hear the consent. “Do you want to save your wife and daughter?”

  
“That’s not the right question, Castiel,” says Jimmy softly. “The real question is, are you ready to fulfill your promise to me? Of saving my family.”

  
And suddenly, their roles are reversed. It’s Castiel saying yes as their wills forge into one.

 

**Hear the sound**  
**The angels come screaming**  
**Down your voice**  
**I hear you've been bleeding**

 

With both demons and angels in his way, Castiel fights his path back to Amelia and Claire Novak. He explains the coming of the apocalypse to them. He does not have time to argue with Amelia about faith so he uses his grace to teleport the three of them in an abandoned warehouse that he later wards against his own kind. Claire looks at him with childhood innocence and confusion. But underneath it all, he can see her bravery. Amelia and Claire look after each other as Castiel finishes the wardings he draws with his own blood.

 

**Make your choice**  
**They say you've been pleading**  
**Someone save us**

 

Castiel knows he is not the only angel taking the side of humanity. There are others who have fallen even before Lucifer is set feee. There is Anna, who he knows has been living with humans for a long time now. He tries to contact her telepathethicly. When she regains her memories as an angel, they retrieve her grace. They now have two families to protect -- the Miltons and the Novaks.

He has yet to call them his own family, seeing as how he is the cause of why they have lost Jimmy for more than a year. Castiel wants to let them talk to his vessel but Jimmy is rarely conscious. When he is, it takes a lot of toll on him to stay awake. So he watches over Claire as she prasys to God to make up for it. He thinks of stopping her because angels might hear her instead but he dismisses the thought when Claire asks him to pray with her. So for the first time in his life, Castiel learns to call for his father. He tries to ask for guidance.

 

**Heaven help us now**  
**Come crashing down**  
**We'll hear the sound**  
**As you're falling down**

 

Eventually, they leave the warehouse for a better and safer place. Along the way, Castiel meets other angels who are running away from heaven. There's Balthazar, who just wants to hide from everything, really. And Hannah, who’s escaping with her vessel's husband, Joe Johnson. Just like Castiel, she promises Caroline, her vessel, that she will not abandon him. Together, they protect each other while figuring out how to stop the apocalypse from happening. As disasters rain down all around them, they keep accepting people to join their group while fighting back angel attacks from heaven as well as demons that are acting under Lucifer's commands.

 

**I'm at this old hotel**  
**But can't tell if I've been breathing or sleeping**  
**Or screaming or waiting for the man to call**  
**And maybe all of the above**  
**'Cause mostly I've been sprawled on these cathedral steps**  
**While spitting out the blood and screaming**  
**Someone save us**

 

Castiel knows he’s bound to lose one of them but he still can't take the sounds he hears. Balthazar is taken from them while they are relocating to an empty dilapidated inn. Angels have given up on attacking the humans under their protection. They have focused solely on the angels instead. Probably for strategic purposes. For an angel who only wanted to drink wine and let the apocalypse pass, Balthazar valiantly tells them to go and save their people. So he is gone. But his voice is not. Castiel, Anna and Hannah hears his screams in their heads as if they are their own. Whatever heaven does to angels who run away, they are surely not ending it soon for their brother.

 

**Heaven help us now**  
**Come crashing down**  
**We'll hear the sound**  
**As you're falling down**

**And will you pray for me?**  
**Or make a saint of me?**  
**And will you lay for me?**  
**Or make saint?**

 

When they see Balthazar again, he is not the same. He is changed. Heaven changes him. But they don't know that until it's too late. They welcome their brother back and at first it's a reunion they all rejoice for. But soon, the tears they cry out with joy become wails and screams of anguish. Heaven sends Balthazar back to end them all. He has killed Hannah, Joe, and many of the humans under their care before Castiel has put a blade in his back, tears of regret rolling down his cheeks.

 

**'Cause I'll give you all the nails you need**  
**Cover me in gasoline**  
**Wipe away those tears of blood again**  
**And the punchline to the joke is asking**  
**Someone save us**

 

Castiel makes up his mind. No angel will make any sacrifice again. At least, no one other than him. When they are about to take Anna, he stops them. He pleads on his knees.

“Don't take her,” he begs Naomi, the angel that heaven sends them thiat time. He does not know her story but maybe if he goes back to heaven, he can persuade her to join their cause. Maybe he can save his other sisters and brothers that heaven keeps against their will? Maybe not only humans need to be saved. Maybe he needs to set angels free too from this apocalypse. “Take me instead.”  
Anna breaks down when they drag Castiel away.

 

**Heaven help us now**  
**Come crashing down**  
**We'll hear the sound**  
**As you fall**

 

Anna is the only angel left to protect their humans now. She does not need to sleep so she comforts anyone who gets nightmares every night. Sometimes it's Amy and Richard Milton, the humans she has learned to call her parents when she does not remember herself as an angel. Other times, it's Claire Novak, the daughter of Castiel's vessel who could very well has been possessed herself because of her bloodline. Anna does not tell her that. The child does not need to know more than what she has already seen. 

Amelia wakes up beside Claire, who cries in her sleep, to hug her child to her chest. She sees Anna looking down on them, seated on the bed by Claire's head. She wants to look at her with disdain. She needs to blame something or someone. Especially an angel. But seeing Anna with unshed tears in her eyes, she softens.

  
“I’m sorry,” the angel says and the fight leaves Amelia completely as she welcomes the fallen angel in her arms.

 

**And would you pray for me?**  
**(You don't know a thing about my sins)**  
**(How the misery begins)**  
**Or make a saint of me?**

 

And then it happens. They all know it will -- Castiel is sent back. Of course heaven will send him back to kill them. It was Anna's parents he kills first for it to become a lesson for Anna before he lets other angels take her back to heaven to be reprogrammed just like him. Amelia tries to flee from him with Claire.

Castiel kills her before she can even get out of the dirty hotel room they hide in. He chases Claire even if she cannot possibly get away far. She runs, crawls and jumps, crashing into glass windows and wrecked doors just to find an exit.

She begs him. “Castiel, please,” she cries, big fat tears escaping her eyes out of control. “I prayed to you..we prayed to God.”

God? Who is God again? Suddenly, he remembers his prayer.

_“That's why, I'm asking you father; one last time. Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right path? You have to tell me; you have to give me... a sign. Give me. A sign.”_

Castiel stops. It hurts. Everything hurts. He tries to get away. But there's a force inside him that he can't fight on his own.

“Castiel, I'm here.” He hears Jimmy. Like he first time he motivates him to fight back. Jimmy is his salvation like how he is Novak family's salvation. This is not him. He does not hurt humans. He is supposed to save them.

“Run, Claire.” At that moment, Castiel and Jimmy's voices speaks in unison. If they could at least save their daughter...that’s right. Claire has become like a daughter for the angel. He accepts them as his family. His chosen family. Unlike his family in heaven that punishes humans and angels alike for having their own free will, these humans are much more than flawed souls who don't know how to feel.

Claire gets up on her feet, preparing to run like her father and her angel tell her to. She almost gets to the door before it blasts open, revealing Naomi. Castiel and Jimmy almost lose consciousness just from the light and sound of Claire as she is smitten by the other angel, the one who has tortured them both, physically and emotionally.

Claire’s fragile body drops on the floor, her empty eyesockets still sizzling from getting burned by Naomi's grace. Naomi steps closer to Castiel, who wobbly stands up to face her.

“Naomi,” it is Jimmy who speaks to her, his soul crying in desperation as he keeps looking at the corpse of his daughter.

“So, this is why Castiel has a hard time listening to heaven,” Naomi says, drawing her angel blade. She takes another step and Jimmy stands his ground, his soul more awake than ever as he drops Castiel's angel blade to his hand and raises it to her eyelevel. “It's because of this abomination. Another flawed soul that refuses to sleep.”

“You will not get to Castiel again,” Jimmy says. Castiel is shaking inside him at the sight of Naomi, their torturer.

“It’s not Castiel I have to come here for,” the angel says before she steps aside to let the archangel Michael in. With a snap of his fingers, Jimmy's body explodes like it was nothing but a sack of blood and bones.

True to her words, it is Jimmy they have taken away from Castiel for the last time. With Michael's powers, Castiel is given another vessel. One that still looks like Jimmy even if it's empty inside. He spends the remaining of this reprogramming with Naomi. Many times, he takes himself back to the moment when he used to think about how Jimmy is still there to hold on and keep himself from breaking even as his wings lose their ability to flt. He reminds himself that he is not on his own back then.

Well, now, not anymore. It doesn't matter. All humans he wants to save are now dead, killed by his own hands. Jimmy is gone and vessel is just a cage. Free will sounds like a joke as he is forced to kill the families of the vessels that angels have taken away from their homes. It has become a new protocol for them to die first before any other humans so that not another angel will become as deviant as Castiel once has been. So that none of them can find a family of their own because all they need is heaven.

 

**(You don't know)**  
**(So I'm burning, I'm burning)**  
**And will you lay for me?**  
**(You don't know a thing about my sins)**  
**(How the misery begins)**  
**Or make a saint?**

 

So the angel, who has fallen in love with humanity, continues to torture and kill the very ones he loves and wishes to protect. Because he has forgotten himself. He can't remember who his vessel is. He can’t remember what a family is like. He has no name other than that of an angel who carries death on his broken wings.

And no one is there to help save him.

There has never been.

**(You don't know)**  
**('Cause I'm burning, I'm burning)**  
**'Cause I'll give you all the nails you need**  
**(I'm burning, I'm burning again)**  
**Cover me in gasoline again**


End file.
